Blogging...

I'm not really sure I'm in the right mood for blogging at the moment, but I'm going to anyway. I'm sad again. I hate sadness. It stinks. It's like the worst emotion ever created. Anger is the second worst. Why is it I feel those two a whole lot? They're stupid.

I think this is going to be one of those posts I hope blogger deletes in the publishing process, but then again I don't want it to. I'll be really mad if it does, and if it doesn't I may delete it anyway. Who knows? I guess we'll see.

So anyway, there are a lot of things to be sad about lately. My parents are sad too. That makes me feel sad, and quite a bit guilty. I haven't really done anything, I'm just not good enough to them I guess. I feel bad for them. I know they're gonna miss her and everything. I also know they're having trouble with me graduating and all. I was thinking the other day, and this will be the first time since they've been married that they don't have a school-age child. It's hard to think that you're so much the center of someone's world, but I guess I am, and before I was, Julie was. What're they gonna do? I can't live here forever.

Anyway, I don't know what else to talk about. I have really come to dislike reading blogs like this one. I think if I did not write my own blog, I would hate it. I think I would hate a lot of things of mine if I saw them through someone else's eyes. That seems to be the theme of the day. See everything in a new light. Too bad that's harder than it sounds.

We had a "Positive Attitude Seminar" today. Whoopee. I have a stinky attitude, along with every other 18 year-old in the world. That was pretty much all she had to say, I think. Be nice, was the other main point, and don't say "you too" when someone tells you to have a good day. I made the point once to be the person who said "have a good day," so I figure that makes me a nicer person. Guess what her response was? Yep, "You too." That made me feel exceptionally special.

Well, hmmm. I'm running out of exciting things to say. I also no longer have any brain-stimulating conversations running now, so I'm going to fall into a sad sleep soon. I'm not going to school tomorrow, so it's okay that I'm posting this at like 1:30 in the morning. Oh wait, I always post around then, and usually on school nights. I'm going to sleep til like, oh, 9 something tomorrow. I'm excited.

I'm also excited about the zoo. I hope it doesn't rain. I've never eaten at the James River, bla bla bla, Grille, but I'm excited about that too. Hmmm, I'm going to need money. I will find some, or it will come from Austria again. It's been coming from there a lot lately, but then I got birthday money, so I replenished a lot of it. I like the zoo. Animals make me happy.

Well, I think I'm gonna be done with this now. Oh, one more thing that makes me sad: when clerks all the way in Pittsburg leave the No-Go on my prom dress, so I'm going to have to waste more gas to drive back up there and get it taken off. GRRRRR!!!

Okay, now I'm really done. As for any of you who might worry about this sadness issue, don't, because as we all know, I am bipolar, and tomorrow I will be happy... hopefully. I will try, because we are celebrating Brandon's birthday anyway, and that should be a very happy occasion. Happy Birthday, by the way, let's see...5 days late... oops. It's okay, I told you the day before your birthday in case I forgot on your birthday. I think I might have even remembered on your birthday, but that was too long ago for me to remember. None of that just made any sense at all, but oh well.

Okay, I'm seriously done this time. I'll see y'all tomorrow, well, later today really. Love ya.