I hate school...

I shouldn't say things like that, cuz I really don't hate school. I really only hate Wednesdays, I think, as I have 5 classes in a row, then a break and a 2-hour class. It makes the day incredibly long, and by the time I get home, I'm bound to be grouchy. Tonight this is compounded by the fact that I got all confused as to what was going on at church, and then because my submit button on my homepage wouldn't work, so I have no idea whether it actually posted or not. I guess we'll soon find out.

Anyway, I'm going to try to be positive here, which you all know will happen about the time you-know-where freezes over. Maybe it's a cold night though... if I try really hard. Hmmm... things I like... this is starting to sound like Jo's happy list. Maybe there's something to be said for that afterall. :)

Woohoo for Howie Day to begin with. :) This song makes me happier, so I'm pretty sure it's going on repeat for a while.

Now I'm pretty much out of things to say.

I am ready for a card game I think, now that I think about it. I'm feelin' some Spades or Hearts comin' on... I'm thinkin' Hearts for Nick.

Okay, so the song's not gonna stay on repeat, because I have trouble thinking about what I'm writing when there's music going. I'm trying to be inspired by it though, cuz I'm out of things to say. If not, this is quickly going to become one of those incredibly random stream-of-consciousness posts. I don't know though, I kinda like those.

Dr. Jackson, the science guy, likes to cuss a lot in class. I find all of this amusing, as the teachers have never been allowed to be negative before, let alone curse during their lectures. Sorry, random thought.

Hmmm... I really don't know what else to talk about.

I guess I should say that, contrary to the title of this post, I actually like school. It's more fun than high school, at least so far. I just hate Wednesdays. The other days are seriously not bad. I think I'm getting burned out already though. Come to think of it though, I have gone to school now 7 days in a row. It's time for a weekend, definetly.

I really like Tuesdays and Thursdays, cuz I'm done by 12:15. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna like Fridays okay, though I haven't had one yet, cuz I don't have to get there til 10. Yay for extra sleep.

I was really excited about band to begin with, but it's almost become more of a hassle now than it's worth. I'm still really worried about being able to memorize all the music and learn how to do the marching stuff. I feel really intimidated now in all my music classes. Everybody there is so stinkin' talented, and then there's me. Oh well, as long as I never have to do anything by myself, they'll never know how pathetic I am. Oops, I'm supposed to be positive.

I'm gonna make myself get my music minor though, no matter how much I hate it, cuz if I don't, I'll regret it. That does mean I have to do some stuff by myself unfortunately though. I have to have 2 semesters of private lessons for one thing.

Gosh darn it, this positive thing is complicated. I start thinkin' about this stuff that's got me worried or whatever and it gets impossible again. GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I like having Renee in all my music classes, but I'm actually starting to get intimidated even by her. Imagine that. I'm not sure intimidated is quite the right word, I'm just not as into it as she is. I feel bad about that. What's happened to me enjoying it so much? I was so excited, and now I'm just not. It's frustrating. You shouldn't be able to just get over something you've always loved so much.

Okay, maybe I have some of it figured out. It's all too formal for me there. I still love it... at church, sitting around singing songs and such, leading worship... things that don't have to be so stinkin' perfect. Music shouldn't have to be this way. It's not restrained by breathing and pronunciations... it's all about what's behind it. Okay, college music is crap. :) Wow, I feel better now.

That's seriously been bugging me a lot and I didn't even realize it. Now it gets to bug me again, cuz I still have to pass all my classes... and I'm still forcing myself to endure it to a minor.

It's funny how my opinion changes on stuff so fast. Like a year ago, I was all ready to spend my life in band and choir... now I can't wait to get out. I don't like when my music is repressed. It's that simple. I still like playing in band and singing in choir though, so I don't think I really know what I want. Oh well. I just want more freedom in my music, and I want to be the senior again. Being a freshman is no fun, cuz they all think you're stupid. To an extent, they're absolutely right.

I'm going to get off of this little tangent now, because I am being pressured to do so:)

I'm finally getting really sleepy again I think... or maybe that's just cuz the adrenaline of being all upset is wearing off.

I'm really not sure how this whole school thing is going to work out. I'm not sure I'm smart enough to be in the Honors Program. What am I saying... that's the part I actually like so far.

I'm feeling kind of stressed already, so I'm scared of what's going to happen when classes actually start to get serious. That kinda worries me. I guess we'll just find out.

Well, I'm going to rap this up. One, because Nick is annoying, and two, because I am sleepy. :) G'night to all, and enjoy whatever it is you do...